Guilt around food and/or drink choices is something that comes up frequently enough via my coaching practice that I thought that it would be worth dedicating an article to!
Right off the bat, I just want to say that feeling guilty about your food and/or drink choices is really only an issue if it’s happening consistently, meaning…if once in a while you eat something and you’re like, ‘I really didn’t need that’ or ‘oops, that pushed me over the edge in terms of fullness’ it’s really not a big deal…we’ve all been there!
On the other hand it becomes a problem if you’re feeling guilty about choices that you’re making on a consistent basis, for example…if every Sunday or Monday you’re feeling guilty and/or regretting your choices from the weekend, that’s an issue because it’s occurring so often, it’s clearly a pattern.
Fortunately relieving guilt around choices is actually more straight forward than a lot of folks think because…there is only room for guilt to surface if you’re making decisions mindlessly or on autopilot.
It’s very easy to play the ‘woulda, shoulda’ coulda’ game after doing something without all that much awareness, however if you’re truly making mindful choices, guilt becomes irrelevant, for example…
If someone brings donuts into work and you walk by the box and without even thinking about it you grab the apple fritter (obviously because it’s the best) and you start chowing down…and when you’re licking your fingers clean a few minutes later you begin to feel guilty.
It’s very easy for guilt to come up in a situation like this because it was completely mindless, on the other hand…if you walk by the box and actually think about whether you’d like a donut or not and make a true choice, guilt doesn’t even come into the equation because you actually chose the donut!
You chose the awesome things about it and the not so awesome things. The great taste, the texture, mouth-feel, satisfaction etc. and the caloric load, the potential stomach discomfort, blood sugar issues and the list goes on…you said yes to it all, that is true choice!
The pros outweighed the cons and you made a decision, beautiful! This might sound strange, but one of my favourite things is when a client of mine tells me about indulging in something that doesn’t necessarily get us closer to their goal acutely, but they chose it and own their decision, for example…
They make a mindful choice to go out for pizza and ice cream with their family and afterwards they’re like, ‘it was worth every single bite’ or they choose to go out for a bunch of drinks with friends and they mention something like, ‘it was an absolute blast, I wouldn’t change a thing’…that’s awesome!!
It’s not so awesome when someone is indulging and then feeling guilty about it afterwards over and over and over…this is a clear sign of mindless choices, there’s not enough forethought, it’s essentially just impulse.
I used to feel guilty about all sorts of things that I ate because I ate them mindlessly, I’ve mentioned this before on the pod, I used to follow the ‘see food’ diet meaning, if I saw it I ate it and there really wasn’t much of any awareness in the picture at all.
Occasionally I’ll still overdo it nowadays, but fortunately feelings of guilt or regret are much more rare and personally, I’m a lot more susceptible to having one too many drinks than I am mindlessly eating almost certainly because the tricky thing about alcohol is that it quite literally reduces your awareness…not to mention the food choices that we often tend to make when we’ve got a buzz going ;)
Another helpful concept to be aware of in terms of all of this stuff is what I like to call ‘picking your spots,’ for example…if you are going to indulge in dessert let’s say, make it your favourite dessert instead of having a treat that’s a 5/10 at a dinner party just because it’s there…
If you love craft beer like I do and for whatever reason the only thing that’s available at a given time is something like Coors light, it’s just not worth it…or if you’re into wine and the only thing that you have access to in a certain situation is boxed vino, ya might want to wait until you can get your hands on something that you’re going to really enjoy and savour.
Another crucially important aspect around food associated guilt is to be honest with yourself about your priorities, for example…if your goal is fat loss and you find yourself consistently feeling guilty about choices that you’re making because they’re not lining up with that goal, you may want to have an honest convo with yourself and get clear on what you’re truly committed to.
As an added layer to this, if you find that your priority actually isn’t fat loss, there’s no need to feel guilty about that because oftentimes folks will. People that fall into this category will often use language like ‘I need to lose fat’ or ‘I should lose fat’…words like need or should or shouldn’t are clear giveaways because you really don’t ‘need’ to do anything and there are no ‘shoulds’ or ‘shouldn’ts’ in regards to this stuff…it’s simply a matter of priorities, judgement-free priorities I’ll add!
So, if you find yourself feeling guilty after indulging in food, drink or anything really…awareness is the key and even if you feel as though you made a conscious choice and you still feel guilty afterwards, be sure to stay honest with yourself in terms of your priorities and…if everything is lined up…
Give yourself the benefit of the doubt in the sense that you chose that thing in that moment without the luxury of hindsight and so clearly you saw it as ‘worth it’ on one level or another and being that that’s the case…
You can let yourself off the hook and move forward. Also, if it’s a rare situation or just a one-off, no sweat…on the other hand if it’s a recurring pattern, it’s likely worth taking a closer look at.
The guilt isn’t there to make you miserable, it’s there to make you more alert!
